“I can’t do this, I can’t think. I’m having a heart attack.”
Sound familiar? I understand, because that’s me most nights. Some of the following tools are what I use when I feel things are impossible and unbearable. I’m not sure how, but they work, and I always make it through. You may read some of these and think I’m absolutely insane and silly for even trying these, but hey, if it works, why not? What have you got to lose? Who knows, it could seem so silly, you’re too busy laughing to even remember why you were anxious or struggling in the first place.
1. 5-4-3-2-1 grounding
The number one helper in my life has wholeheartedly been the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique. It’s really simple yet highly effective. Copy and paste the little list or make a nice image to pull up to remember all the steps.
Pro tip: Do each step out loud; it truly makes a difference.
- 5- Find 5 different things you can see.
- 4- Feel 4 different textures or temperatures.
- 3- Listen for 3 different sounds.
- 2- Focus on finding 2 different scents.
- 1- Pinpoint one thing you can taste.
2. On the move!
Whether it’s silly dancing, exercise, or even gently rocking back and forth. Moving your body helps release endorphins. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you’re focusing on the movement. Count each motion you’re making. Remembering to breathe at the same time.
3. Rest.
Intentionally rest. Have a “lazy” day. You’re not a robot; you need rest. Can’t sleep? Engage in very light tasks. Move slower. Put the phone down and tune out of the hustle and bustle of the world. Even taking 15 minutes can help lessen the mental burden.
4. Mindful breathing
Place your hand on your heart. Focus on breathing in through your nose and out of your mouth slowly. If you need to close your eyes. Repeat words of affirmation like, “I’m ok.” or “This will pass.” . When it’s really bad, I even breathe out “Gooseblahblah.” because sometimes we need a little silliness to break up the blah.
5. Distractions
While all of these are considered distractions, try to intentionally derail the anxious or sad feeling. Listen to some music, watch a movie, clean, bake, craft, game, go outside, do anything you can to take your mind away from it.
6. Address it
I thought my therapist was coo-coo when she said it was ok to converse with myself. I felt ridiculous responding to myself. But when asking myself things like “what’s wrong?” “How ya feeling?” or “Is this urgent or can we control it?” Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself. Ask, “Is this true or am I assuming things?” I find I’m more apt to respond internally, and then we kinda go from there and talk her down back to rational thinking.
7. Reach out
When it feels as though nothing is working and there is no way through, reach out. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, family member, or mental health professional. Call, text, or whatever is available to you. In the US, you can text or call 988 at any time. It’s confidential, and they are trained crisis counselors. You are not a burden, and you matter.
While all of these can be momentarily helpful, please do not forget to work through the heavy things in therapy. If you’re not in therapy or can’t afford it, I’m proud of you for trying to work on yourself and taking accountability for your own mental health. What’s a coping skill you’ve learned that’s helped?
Be kind to yourself.<3
-Sami
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