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I’d like to say I’ve been on some profound journey and I’ve figured it all out.
But that would make me a liar. If you’re new here, welcome! If you’re not, let me explain myself. Sort of. I started this blog with so many hopes and dreams like many of us do when we start a new project. But just a few weeks into it I was struck down by as my husband likes to call it my “binge and purge” personality type (I go super heavy on one topic for awhile then I get a feeling of accomplishment and walk away for awhile) and pairing that with being paralyzed by my own thoughts.
“This is silly.” “No one wants to read that.” “You’re going to fail, you always do.” “You’re making a fool of yourself.” “You’ll never be good enough.”
The attacks go on and on. I was terrified it was all true.
Then came life. Housework, family, summer pick up for the better half’s job, but worst of all…my mental health. If you live with having to deal with any of these you might know what I mean. The constant battle of high to low energy followed by perfectionism to not caring about anything. Dishes piling up, laundry looking like “does she even see us?” Accompanied with never ending “What’s for dinner” and “Is my favorite work shirt hanging up?” all while trying to maintain a healthy work and life balance.
The struggle is all too real.
Alas we are here and have prevailed yet again.
The question is how did I find my way back? Honestly, it was so easy it made me mad. After countless conversations in my head as well as with my husband and millions of “I’ll start again tomorrow!” only to wake up and find a plethora of things to put ahead of blogging. Surly you’ve been there. You wake up full of hope and life only to push that nagging thought of what you “should” be doing and busying yourself with busywork. Then my husband said something that stuck with me. “Why do you check your bank account more than your schedule? You can always make more money…but you can’t get more time back.” I was flabbergasted. I’m always worried about everything other than things I should technically be worried about.
So we had some more conversations and I have found my way out of the fog bringing myself back to the path I desire to be on. I consulted with ChatGPT (I know I know…AI bad. But it helped) and came up with a plan starting with picking a time and making myself sit down and commit to just 5 minutes of typing. Before I knew it 10 minutes have passed, then 15 minutes etc. I followed that up with not blaming myself for “falling off the wagon” yet again and realizing things happen and that’s ok. Despite what perfectionism tells you. Sure I’m not writing anything heavy at this point but It’s a long way from writing nothing at all. I have to learn how to count that as progress. After all… what do I constantly preach?
Progress over perfection!
Now the key is to keep momentum as long as we can. The steps we take after are what help us to keep from having to start completely over again. To help keep me on the path I plan to implement a schedule that is flexible enough that I don’t have a meltdown when I have to stray from it. I even created my own 29 page planners to use that help me maximize my time and energy! Gold star if you find the typo that is driving me nuts on one page. I’m leaving the typo on purpose to further show I’m not perfect and being ok with that. Following up with multiple accountability partners, minimal excuses, get out of the house to write if necessary, practice better self care and recognizing when I get sidetracked with “busy work” then putting myself in check.
Again I’m not perfect.
My plan isn’t foolproof or one size fits all. You may need to alter somethings in life to specifically fit you.
But it’s mine and it’s a good guide for me to come back to.
I want to hear your ways you keep on the right path. Email me at [email protected] or comment below.
Take care and be kind to yourself
~Sami<3
10 Responses
Love this. All of it💙
Oh yes, I definitely put perfection over progress and lose myself in the sea of “I don’t have enough time” thoughts. We must remember that doing even one little thing a day makes a total difference.
Honestly you have the right idea – making yourself sit down for 5 minutes to write will get the ball rolling! Good luck on continuing with your plan!
Taking things step by step can really make a big difference.
Thank you for sharing this. I think so many of us can relate to the cycle of self doubt, getting overwhelmed, and trying to find our way back. I really love the reminder that progress is more important than perfection, and your husband’s advice about time really hit home.
Thank you for the reminder! I have some similar tendencies as what you describe and need to hold myself more accountable rather than wasting time trying to find someone to lean on to keep me going. Taking a step back and making the plan is always a great start and often eye opening. I plan to do this again today. Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you very much for your encouraging words. It means a lot to read it.
This really resonated with me. I think so many of us start with big dreams, then our own thoughts become our biggest obstacle. The fact that you’re honest about it instead of pretending everything is perfect is refreshing. You’re definitely not alone, and I’m glad you didn’t give up on writing altogether. ❤️
I, too, have those moments when I drift away from my blog, but the fact that I continue to enjoy it and get to connect with other writers keeps me going. I agree- progress over perfection!
This really resonated. The “progress over perfection” mindset is easier said than done, but you can tell you’re actually living it here. The bank account vs. schedule thing your husband said is going to stick with me too — never thought about time that way.